Category : Secret

Ah … context.

I sometimes feel sorry for myself.  But then something puts it in perspective.  Like this D.H. Lawrence poem.

Self Pity
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

I remember once, in a much earlier stage of my business life,  lying in bed feeling sorry for myself.  A ruthless vendor was driving me nuts.  Normally I’d just walk away from this kind of thing and find a better option.  But I felt like these guys were my only option.  They knew it – and they were gleefully turning the screws.  ”Why me? Why can’t things be easier?  Why can’t I just get my way?”

But then it dawned on me:  I am running a successful company …  I’m living a good life by anyone’s standards … And here I sit feeling sorry for myself.

Ha!

Want to see a really tough negotiation?  Follow an FBI Hostage Negotiator around for a while.  Dealing with a ruthless vendor is nothing compared to talking a potential suicide off a ledge – or negotiating for the life of a hostage with a madman.

Context.

What’s even cooler about this way of thinking is that it provides breadcrumbs we can follow to stellar performance.  It turns out that in recent years a newer model of hostage negotiation was developed by the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit (yes, the same BSU featured in Silence of the Lambs).  This new model is so effective it has been widely adopted by law enforcement agencies and military forces around the world.

Hmmm … could this method be applied to business negotiations?  To arguments with friends and family?  To haggling with vendors?

You tell me.

So, we’ve distilled this method to its bare H.I.M.E. essence (in classic Simpleology style),  packed it up as a Simpleology Ritual,  and made it free for everyone:

The FBI’s 5-Step Hostage Negotiation Ritual <— free

Enjoy!